Hi, Guys. That black thing with the buttons on it and the wires that go into the wall, it’s called a “telephone”. It’s an excellent device for maintaining communication with your parents. I know. It’s old school. Even more old school than email. But I don’t want to “talk” via email because, let’s be real, you’ll never read my wall of words about prostate issues and lawn care. And I don’t want to Skype because you don’t want your roommates to see you talking to “Daddy”, and I don’t want to see the keg they mounted on your bookcase. And I don’t want to text or ichat, cuz OMG Im nver sure if yer writing that way on purps or u acshully nver lernt to spell & punk2ate. And don’t call on my cell, because everybody hates everybody who yaks on a cell. I just want to sit in a comfortable chair in our quiet home and hear your voices. Once a week. So, please…call me on the black thing.