Weekends used to be a 48-hour parenting marathon. In the early years it was diaper dynamics, constant colds and pushing strollers to the swings on the beach, then it was AYSO, Little League, carpools to birthday parties and driving the crying sleepover pussy home at 2am, then it was drop offs at the mall to hook up with the cute girl from biology and pick ups at the mall because they couldn’t get into the R-rated movie. And now, well, my weekends are as empty as the nest. So, I wrote up a “Weekend Reboot list”, things to do to fill the hours and make my weekends rich again…
(1) Study Spanish.
(2) Play my banjo one hour a day.
(3) Gardening (except weeding)
(4) Learn about electricity.
(5) Read fiction.
(6) Exercise (except sit ups)
(7) Replace the squeegee thing on the bottom of the shower door.
(8) Improve marital relations.
(9) Improve marital relations.
(10) Improve marital relations.
When I showed the list to my partner, she made it clear that the only way to accomplish items 8 thru 10 was to accomplish item 6. And so began my month long search for the squeegee thing at the bottom of the shower…